NLP or NeuroLinguistic Programming was developed by Bandler and Grinder who studied the behaviour and psychology of excellence in successful people. It uses techniques and exercises that provide simple, yet powerful solutions to those who want real change in themselves.

The benefits of NLP are  many. It evaluates and determines values and beliefs, it uncovers subtle and limiting beliefs and challenges conflicts.  Negation of action and therefore procrastination, self sabotage and dissatisfaction are all down to uncovered and unresolved conflicts. NLP coupled with coaching provide clear and simple solutions.

It works with our thought processes to develop resourceful states and instill new patterns that are useful to us and all those in our sphere of influence. 

However, NLP is so much more than a solution, it is also a strategy. Built upon modeling excellence, it provides strategies for modeling which can be used within any context to achieve excellence.

The results can be seen in the way we manage ourselves; our thoughts, beliefs, states, physiology, behaviours and actions. It therefore allows us to shape ourselves to be whom we choose to be and achieve the results we choose to achieve.

Whether you are feeling overwhelmed or overjoyed with the challenges you face, NLP with coaching is useful. It will push your boundaries and get the most out of you and your life. Coaching is very much related to NLP, it is an experience that will make the difference. Coaching was reserved for executives, leaders, seniors and those who were fortunate. It is now an opportunity that is made available to all and a valuable investment in personal development.

My style of coaching is committed to the successful development of my client. It is thorough, wholesome and effective. I challenge my clients to get the best out of themselves and encourage them to perform effectively. My clients range from creative musicians to corporate managers. Personal growth, personal performance and leadership skills develop excellence  and are not limited by context. They add value to the lives of all those who are fortunate enough to take responsibility for their progress and growth.

If you would like to develop yourself and improve your life and productivity then get in touch for a consultation and take the first step towards a richer more fulfilled way of living.

If you are experiencing any of the following problems at work, and would like professional support with full one to one attention and effective solutions then get in touch. 

I support young corporate individuals to gain an understanding and develop strategies to deal with the following problems:

• Stress
• Insecurity in the work place 
• Bullying
• Crossroads
• Pressure 
• Lack of recognition
• Lack of direction
• Lack of motivation 
• Career moves
• Breakdown in communication 
• Time management
• Work load management
• High level communication
• Conflict management
• Confidence and communication
• Redundancy

If you feel that you are being affected by any of these issues get in touch to see what’s on offer for you. To find out more or to book a session please call or send an email.

Working on ourselves, self improvement and self development have always been a part of who we are as human beings. Always growing, always looking for the better, always trying to achieve more. It’s our natural tendency.

As part of the work that we do on ourselves any sincere developments must be done by way of self observation. Self observation is at first the idea we have of being able to see ourselves for what we are. In practice it is the recording of our habitual ways of thinking, feeling, moving and being in order to develop a backlog of data about ourselves which we can later use to understand and correct ourselves. As we are we need to align ourselves and awaken, this can only be achieved through long term self observation.

Self observation is the key to self consciousness, to knowing ourselves without which there is no work to be done on ourselves. Therefore self observation is the tool for becoming aware, conscious beings. There are many things that stand in the way of self observation; imagination, lack of attention and a lack of understanding about how to correctly observe ourselves. If we succeed to experience self observation we soon realise that we cannot observe ourselves for long periods of time, because our old habits which used to prevent us from observing now won’t let us observe ourselves.

However  it is only by way of observing ourselves that we can correctly arrive to a point of change, real sincere change, in confidence, in stopping bad habits, in understanding why we enter the same failing relationships, why we suffer from depression and anxiety, why we eat the things we do, why we are living and working exactly where we are as who we are and why we love to moan about it.

Self observation is the optimum pathway to any work on oneself and to self consciousness, without which any work done on ourselves is superficially  and temporarily adopted, not understood and will soon fail. Lasting change is the by-product of self observation.

Self observation is the mirror of all truths, sincere and powerful it is the only objective answer that matters, if we can succeed to observe ourselves we soon learn that everything else that we have known till now literally made no sense.

If you would like to learn more about this and be coached contact SelfState.

Here is a taste of Coaching just for you!

Coaching is all about movement directed towards an aim or a goal in life, in essence its about understanding where you are and discovering where you want to be and then planning your path to your desired destination. 

Everyone and everything is in motion, the planets, the stars, our bodies, our mind and emotional states, our awareness, time etc… they’re all in motion and they are moving onwards and ahead.

Applying this concept to yourself think about where you want to be in 3 years from now. 3 years ahead in time is quite a tangible future to think about and also enough time to make some really powerful choices. When you are thinking about what you would like to achieve try to think about what would add more value to your life. I say this because ultimately we all want to live fulfilled happy lives, but what does that really mean? It means living a life according to the values and beliefs that are close to our hearts. 

Ask yourself in 3 years time, what would I like to have achieved that would make me proud?

Write it out in as much detail as possible. Is there a particular area of your life that you would like to transform? Here are some ideas:

• establish yourself in your career
• a change of career
• get a qualification to do something you really enjoy
• set up your own business
• write a book
• loose weight and have the healthy figure you’ve always wished for
• have a baby

These are all life changing events. So in 3 years you could change your life and with a little direction make changes that can bring you lasting happiness. Off course you don’t have to do it in 3 years, I’m using this as an example. Some people achieve in 3 years what others achieve in 1. It’s up to you, but I find 3 years is long enough to consider achieving your life changing goals realistically and without added pressure.

To help you further divide you goal into tangible realistic stages, maybe ask someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve to help you do this. Establishing realistic stages will also help you to measure your progress and know that you are on the right track. 

Remember if your goals do not match your values and beliefs then you are in conflict and achieving them could be difficult and harmful. Here are some core values that are commonly considered to bring us happiness. Weigh up your goals against these and mark them out of 10 to see how much your goals are in congruence with your values, you can add your own values to the list. 

• family
• community
• personal satisfaction
• excellence
• honesty
• passion
• self esteem
• security
• stability
• spirituality
• health

Now consider this. What would achieving this goal change about the way you live today? It’s an important question right? because it prepares you for the adaptations that you will have to make, it asks you to consider what you are doing now that isn’t going to work or help you achieve this goal and what you are doing currently that will help you achieve it. Therefore it prepares you for the practicality of achieving your goal.

This also turns our attention to where you are now. 

It’s important to be able to look at yourself and assess your current situation fairly and openly.

Consider the following in assessing where you are now:

• What are you doing so far towards achieving your goal? (what can you do to increase these activities?)
• Who do you know that can support you in achieivng your goal? (how can you extend your network and supporting community?)
• What resources do you need to help you achieve your goal? (how can you improve and increase your resources?)
• What is the next step for you to bring you closer to your goal? (or bring your goal closer to you? its a two way relationship!)

So you have now had a taste of coaching, it’s a positive and intriguing practice and it invites you to enhance the way you live. If you have enjoyed this session and would like in depth one to one or group sessions, or you know someone who could benefit from coaching then get in touch with me.

Establishing powerful goals in your daily life is the key to achieving the results you want to achieve rather than what you’re left with.

So what are the key steps to establishing powerful goals:

Your goals should be;

Specific – write your goals in as much detail as possible as often as possible
Measurable – you must be able to measure your goals according their nature and in time
Achievable – set yourself goals that you can achieve practically, use journey goals to break down your goals into practical stages
Realistic – there’s dreaming and then there’s actualising your dreams, set yourself realistic targets towards achieving your goals, this is how you can make your dreams come true!
Tangible – Your goals should be tangible, to do this think about what you can do in order to bring yourself closer to goals and bring your goals closer to you, it is a two way relationship!

Often your goals will be an image of the final product. Therefore it is important to set journey goals, even daily goals that will bring you closer to the final vision. Remember achieving the final vision or the final goal will only bring you momentary joy, who you become in the process brings you lasting happiness.

Lets take an example: you want to be in a healthy relationship, but you feel lonely, you think that there is no one out there that you will make a real connection to, you don’t really enjoy going out and meeting new people and you lack confidence in yourself because of past experiences and lack of self esteem.

The goal now seems far away. However if you follow the SMART model you can bring your goal closer to you. Often goals need to broken into different stages to develop a realistic path to achieving them. The final vision is a great motivator, but the first step of the journey always begins within.

Achieving any goal means adaptation and change. No matter what the goal is unless you being to think and approach the goal with a new attitude and take new action you will achieve the same results you always have.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship but you feel lonely and think there’s no one out there for you then because of this conflict in your goal and your personal beliefs you will be unlikely to find or stay in a positive and healthy relationship. So you can establish changing your attitude towards relationships as one of your journey goals.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship but you’re uncomfortable with going out and meeting new people then find ways around this. Another journey goal could be to socialise with your current friends, colleagues, family, networks and like minded people more often with the aim to enjoy the love and richness of the connections you are already making with the many many wonderful people in your life now. This will boost your happiness, confidence and chances are that someone will know someone who, well could be just the person for you.

If you lack self esteem because of past experiences and you find yourself making the same mistakes, allowing people to treat you badly, or just not having the love and joy of being who you are, then this will conflict with the values you attach to being lovable. In that case you will find a way of ruining any good chances for yourself. So another one of your journey goals could be to boost your self esteem. This is one of the most common and fundamental factors in relationship damage. Lacking self esteem is the reason people find themselves living lives that are unfulfilling, leaving them drained, angry and generally not enjoying life no matter how much wealth, beauty, passion and love they may possess.

There’s so much more to setting powerful goals then at first meets the eye. However we are moving on and up in our lives, whether we’re just surviving or at the top of the game effective goal setting will make astounding differences in who we are and the way we live.

Be aware of the mind, for the mind lives in desire. It’s every thirst is quenched and then a new stronger thirst is born. Every time it conquers a new territory it is satisfied for a moment only and then it hungers for more. It is like a spiral growing. More knowledge, more power, more beauty, more understanding and so on.

There is nothing wrong with  ambition or aspiration and without desire the mind will die. However now knowing the nature of our mind, we can manage  our desires, we are no longer weakened by the feeling of lack or desperate for having more, we can understand the cycle of wanting and achieving, we can let it happen naturally. By doing this we create more time in our lives, we are no longer caught up in the rush but we are moving forward in synchronicity, then we are free to enjoy the present. The present moment where everything is already accomplished.

Communication designed to bring about greater self awareness and positive change.

Students get 20% off!

This is what you can expect for your money:

• 6 months personalised Coaching,
• Improving productivity,
• Time management skills
• Personal balance,
• Utilising individual resources,
• Improving communication skills and confidence,
• Understand personal potential,
• Success – expect the coaching relationship to change negatives into positives.

What is expected from you:

• Commitment to achieving the results you desire,
• Responsibility for taking action,
• Mutual respect and trust,
• You will not be judged so be open and honest,
• Sincerity to make it work and be willing to do the work,
• Payment of fees have to be made prior to sessions, and
• Enjoy the Coaching relationship, working with a Coach is a positive and powerful experience, a real treat!

Clients’ success Stories

Soanz ST is an art student from Bath who has benefited greatly from Coaching, here is what she has to say about it:
“For me, coaching has created a stable platform of having a better understanding of myself, and has instructed me in dealing with challenging or worrying matters. It has enabled me to identify improved differences in behavioural patterns. Coaching has been a highly valuable process, and has enriched my life on many levels. I find I am now able to identify ways forward with clarity and confidence, and feel less anxious about decision making and problem solving.

“Having the presence of a life coach has been the crucial element which has brought about many positive changes in my life. If ever I have felt in doubt or worried, the life coach is always a phone call away, and the support and objectivity brings about a refreshing perspective in which to tackle difficult challenges. I can honestly say now, that I am the happiest I have ever been before in my life, and undoubtedly the advantages of having a life coach has brought about a new, improved, and more confident me. This process is highly recommended to all those who wish to apply changes in their lives and progress onto living a content and fulfilled life.”

Communication designed to bring about greater self awareness and positive change.

Clients often ask me questions about Coaching and making important decisions in their lives that could be helpful to everyone. I will answer some of the questions that I have been given and post them here for you. If you have a question that you would like answered then email me on sanam.saleh-taleghani@selfstate.com and I will answer them for you.

Q. What can you achieve from working with a Coach?
A. Working with a Coach will achieve the results that you desire and work towards. Initially you will identify the area or areas in your life that you want to work on, then you will set the goals together with your Coach and begin the work.

It’s a journey of refinement and self discovery. Working with a Coach will allow you to identify and work with your inner potential, what this means practically is that you begin to develop and expand your current vision of yourself and what you are capable of. Your Coach will often push you beyond your comfort zone, often ask you to refine your ideas and help you to create an image of yourself till you are satisfied with the results.

Your Coach will work with you to unravel your innate powers. Your innate powers are your natural skills and abilities, some which you may already know and celebrate and others which you have yet to discover and develop. By encouraging you to evaluate your strengths and work on your weaknesses your Coach will align your capabilities and help you orientate them towards achieving your goals.

You will soon become aware of habitual limitations that are unnecessary and hold you back, these are thoughts, feelings and actions that become a part of daily living and which we often let slide without addressing. At first you may think that these habitual limiting beliefs and actions are not as significant as you feared, however the impact they have on our confidence and ability to develop and grow soon becomes evident. They effect our self esteem and the extent to which we apply ourselves to achieve our full potential. They have therefore, a great significance towards the fulfilment of our purpose and aspirations.

Your role is key, you will determine the subject and pace of your progress, you will determine the goals and the direction and most important of all you will have to do the work. Your Coach will be there to guide and support you and push you when you need it, ultimately though the responsibility of the work and the extraordinary effort that is required is yours and so are the results you achieve.

Communication designed to bring about greater self awareness and positive change.

Clients often ask me questions about Coaching and making important decisions in their lives that could be helpful to everyone. I will answer some of the questions that I have been given and post them here for you. If you have a question that you would like answered then email me on sanam.saleh-taleghani@selfstate.com and I will answer them for you.

Q – If you have to choose between the head and the heart, what would you choose to make you happy?
A – Happiness occurs rarely for the majority of human beings, this is because they are often in conflict with themselves. What does it mean to be in conflict with oneself? It means that there is a multiplicity within you and that in satisfying one you are sacrificing another, which ultimately causes you pain.

Your values are the assets that you will assign to the 8 fields which sum up the entirety of the areas of your life, and personal growth which are; body & mind, health & spirit, career &wealth, relationships & community. They determine what goals you have in each field and and how you will achieve those goals. Your beliefs are the rules that you will live  by whilst achieving your values and what you will judge your actions and the actions of others by. The will also determine your boundaries and your limitations.

For each area of our lives, however active we are, we have developed values and beliefs. Often, in each area we have developed multiple sets of values and beliefs and these are in conflict with one another and thereby cause a duality or multiplicity within us. Therefore when we act on them they cause us pain because we are sacrificing one set of values and beliefs for another.

When your centres are aligned, like the mind and the heart, they move forward together, in one direction, with clarity, precision and certainty. Then we can experience true fulfillment and happiness enrich our lives.

Like all things happiness will begin in your consciousness. A deep seated gratification for your very existence, for being and for acknowledging your being dwells in your heart which must be expressed in your own individual way. Through practicing and understanding this gratification, which is an appreciation of your being, you will develop an honest picture of the values and beliefs by which you live and the values and beliefs which truly represent who you are.

In our natural state the bulk of what we think and do is determined by the external world to us. Television, media, schools, peers determine for us by showing us in example who we ought to be and how we ought to live. They educate us on our values and beliefs, the very dear values and beliefs which we hold on to and fight for with our lives, are often determined by external bodies and not by our own efforts. We would have to study ourselves and one another and then evaluate our findings objectively and without judgement before determining our own individual values and beliefs truly.

Instead our brain takes in all the data it is given and we become the things we think about, the dramas and the false ideas, the limited perceptions of our communities and environments and the negative and dark realities that begin to influence who we think we are and the world we think we live in.

The majority of people feel unfulfilled and detached from themselves. They feel a gap between who they are and who they wish to be, this gap is real and it is determined by actions that we take on a daily basis which distance us from ourselves.

If you are not happy, it is because whatever you are doing that is not aligned with your true self, it is causing you to move away from yourself and this distance from the self hurts.

When you are not aligned with your true self, your true desires are not fulfilled and you feel a deep dissatisfaction with the world and yourself in it. This alignment does not occur naturally, this alignment requires a constant work on oneself to become conscious, to re-evaluate ourselves and the world we think we live in and to create a new future for ourselves. It is possible to become completely lost and stuck in this great dissatisfaction for the entirety of our lives. It is also possible to relieve yourself of the great dissatisfaction with the help of those who have done so before you. The choice is yours, to get different results, you must act differently.