Our values represent who we are and what we love about ourselves. They are representative of our essence at the very core of our choices. They are the meaning behind our actions and the actions behind our words! 

Although we always know our values, we don’t always represent them. Acting contrary to your values is easy to spot, because you represent an impassionate image of yourself and who you think you ought to be, which is according to someone else’s values, be it your mother, your partner, your associates, your role models or whoever influences your decision making powers.

It’s easy to spot people who are living in accordance with their values, they are content with their lives, they work hard and don’t get tired, the suffer and don’t complain, they maintain a positive attitude, share a positive temperance and have a generally fulfilled sense of gratitude towards life. They are energetic and  refreshing to be around.

At the opposite end of the spectrum it’s easy to recognise people who are living contrary to their values, they are generally unhappy, miserable about life, give little thanks, complain a lot and act as emotional drains. 

Now you can spot the difference, you may wonder why you would ever act contrary to your values? The are two reasons, the first is ignorance, because you have not learnt how to recognise your values, or understood how significant they are to your fulfillment in life.  We have not been educated enough about the relevance of our values to the decisions that we make in life and our successes. But they are inherent in our development and evolution itself is based upon serving it’s highest values. Which in simple terms is to act in order to benefit.  

Secondly we don’t act in accordance with our values because we are busy living according to the values of our peers and people we put on pedestals. This means that instead of figuring things out for ourselves we make choices according to what others think is best for us or according to what we think is socially acceptable. This of course fulfills our value of social acceptance and popularity, but the joys are short lived, because soon we tire ourselves out and feel drained, miserable and once again fall into the same old rut.

What we do passionately says a lot more about our values. What we are proud of in ourselves is a direct representative of our values. We can see people with jobs contrary to their values or lower on the list of their values and all they can talk about is their hobbies. What they put on show are their personal crafts, their works of art, their best clothes, their greatest dance moves or cook their signature dish. Because our values are the things that we have chosen to do to fulfill our essence and not what we do to build up our personalities. Knowing the significance of your essence and personality is very important. 

The most important thing to remember about your values is this. The more you make choices in your life to please others, to fulfill the values of others, to fulfill their expectations of who they think you should be and what they think you should be doing, the less you will trust yourself, the less you will feel secure in yourself, the less you will be proud of yourself, the less you will honour yourself and the less success you will enjoy. Then what you share with your environment and the people around you, closes opportunities for yourself and others and you rain on other people’s parades. 

On the other hand the more you live according to your values in your daily life, the more you will learn to depend on yourself, respect yourself, know yourself, be yourself and love yourself. The greater the trust you will have in yourself to do what is right for you, the more you will appreciate yourself and value yourself, the more you will attract opportunities that fulfill your values, the more success you will enjoy and the more gratitude you will feel for who you are and how you have lived your life. Then you are ready to share this with your environment and the people around you, treating everything with an open and creative nurture.

So, if you want to be fulfilled, stop looking outside to others, expecting them to define you and instead look within, listen and be yourself according to your values. If you want to know how to do that and to do some real work on yourself, then get in touch.