Self State

Here is a taste of Coaching just for you!

Coaching is all about movement directed towards an aim or a goal in life, in essence its about understanding where you are and discovering where you want to be and then planning your path to your desired destination.

Everyone and everything is in motion, the planets, the stars, our bodies, our mind and emotional states, our awareness, time etc… they’re all in motion and they are moving onwards and ahead.

Applying this concept to yourself think about where you want to be in 3 years from now. 3 years ahead in time is quite a tangible future to think about and also enough time to make some really powerful choices. When you are thinking about what you would like to achieve try to think about what would add more value to your life. I say this because ultimately we all want to live fulfilled happy lives, but what does that really mean? It means living a life according to the values and beliefs that are close to our hearts.

Ask yourself in 3 years time, what would I like to have achieved that would make me proud?

Write it out in as much detail as possible. Is there a particular area of your life that you would like to transform? Here are some ideas:

• establish yourself in your career
• a change of career
• get a qualification to do something you really enjoy
• set up your own business
• write a book
• loose weight and have the healthy figure you’ve always wished for
• have a baby

These are all life changing events. So in 3 years you could change your life and with a little direction make changes that can bring you lasting happiness. Off course you don’t have to do it in 3 years, I’m using this as an example. Some people achieve in 3 years what others achieve in 1. It’s up to you, but I find 3 years is long enough to consider achieving your life changing goals realistically and without added pressure.

To help you further divide you goal into tangible realistic stages, maybe ask someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve to help you do this. Establishing realistic stages will also help you to measure your progress and know that you are on the right track.

Remember if your goals do not match your values and beliefs then you are in conflict and achieving them could be difficult and harmful. Here are some core values that are commonly considered to bring us happiness. Weigh up your goals against these and mark them out of 10 to see how much your goals are in congruence with your values, you can add your own values to the list.

• family
• community
• personal satisfaction
• excellence
• honesty
• passion
• self esteem
• security
• stability
• spirituality
• health

Now consider this. What would achieving this goal change about the way you live today? It’s an important question right? because it prepares you for the adaptations that you will have to make, it asks you to consider what you are doing now that isn’t going to work or help you achieve this goal and what you are doing currently that will help you achieve it. Therefore it prepares you for the practicality of achieving your goal.

This also turns our attention to where you are now.

It’s important to be able to look at yourself and assess your current situation fairly and openly.

Consider the following in assessing where you are now:

• What are you doing so far towards achieving your goal? (what can you do to increase these activities?)
• Who do you know that can support you in achieivng your goal? (how can you extend your network and supporting community?)
• What resources do you need to help you achieve your goal? (how can you improve and increase your resources?)
• What is the next step for you to bring you closer to your goal? (or bring your goal closer to you? its a two way relationship!)

So you have now had a taste of coaching, it’s a positive and intriguing practice and it invites you to enhance the way you live. If you have enjoyed this session and would like in depth one to one or group sessions, or you know someone who could benefit from coaching then get in touch with me.

Establishing powerful goals in your daily life is the key to achieving the results you want to achieve rather than what you’re left with.

So what are the key steps to establishing powerful goals:

Your goals should be;

• Specific – write your goals in as much detail as possible as often as possible
• Measurable – you must be able to measure your goals according their nature and in time
• Achievable – set yourself goals that you can achieve practically, use journey goals to break down your goals into practical stages
• Realistic – there’s dreaming and then there’s actualising your dreams, set yourself realistic targets towards achieving your goals, this is how you can make your dreams come true!
• Tangible – Your goals should be tangible, to do this think about what you can do in order to bring yourself closer to goals and bring your goals closer to you, it is a two way relationship!

Often your goals will be an image of the final product. Therefore it is important to set journey goals, even daily goals that will bring you closer to the final vision. Remember achieving the final vision or the final goal will only bring you momentary joy, who you become in the process brings you lasting happiness.

Lets take an example: you want to be in a healthy relationship, but you feel lonely, you think that there is no one out there that you will make a real connection to, you don’t really enjoy going out and meeting new people, and you lack confidence in yourself because of past experiences and low of self esteem.

The goal now seems far away. However if you follow the SMART model you can bring your goal closer to you. Often goals need to broken into different stages to develop a realistic path to achieving them. The final vision is a great motivator, but the first step of the journey always begins within.

Achieving any goal means adaptation and change. No matter what the goal is unless you being to think and approach the goal with a new attitude, and take new action you will achieve the same results you always have.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship but you feel lonely, and think there’s no one out there for you, then because of this conflict in your goal and your personal beliefs, you will be unlikely to find or stay in a positive and healthy relationship. So you can establish changing your attitude towards relationships as one of your journey goals.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship but you’re uncomfortable with going out and meeting new people then find ways around this. Another journey goal could be to socialise with your current friends, colleagues, family, networks and like minded people more often with the aim to enjoy the love and richness of the connections you are already making with the people in your life now. This will boost your happiness, confidence and chances are that someone will know someone who, well could be just the person for you.

If you struggle with low self esteem because of past experiences, and you find yourself making the same mistakes, allowing people to treat you badly, or just not having the love and joy of being who you are, then this will conflict with the values you attach to being lovable.

In that case you will find a way of ruining any good chances for yourself. So another one of your journey goals could be to boost your self esteem. This is one of the most common and fundamental factors in relationship damage. Low self esteem is the reason people find themselves living lives that are unfulfilling, leaving them drained, angry and generally not enjoying life no matter how much wealth, beauty, passion and love they may possess.

There’s so much more to setting powerful goals then at first meets the eye. However we are moving on and up in our lives, whether we’re just surviving or at the top of the game effective goal setting will make measurable differences in who we are and the way we live.